Chapter 6

Naniji looks at Khushi in happiness, but seeing Khushi’s expression she realizes that Khushi just had a reflex action from lost memory. Her memory isn’t back yet.

Anjali understands the same and says, “Khushiji, wow… I told you about Chotey’s medicine once and you remembered. That’s great.”

Khushi’s confusion clears and she smiles back.

Arnav moves to the table and sits down silently.

Khushi runs back in the kitchen and starts putting dishes on the table: Here’s Pooris and potato curry, here’s suji halwa and here’s Arnavji’s sugar free halwa.

Arnav again gets a jolt and looks up at Khushi who was busy serving the rest of the family as if what she did, didn’t even register in her brain as something unusual.

But Anjali asks: Khushiji, you made sugar free halwa for Chotey?

Khushi stops in her track and stammers: I’m sorry Di. I don’t know why I made sugar free halwa for Arnavji. I will take it back.

Naniji stops Khushi: No Khushi bitiya. Chotey has diabetes. He can’t eat anything with sugar. Anjali bitiya asked that question because you remembered that.

Khushi thinks for a moment and then smiles at Anjali: Di, you must have told me Arnavji’s medical condition when you told me about his medicines.

Anjali gives her a wan smile because she knows they never talked about Arnav’s condition after Khushi lost her memory. That memory came from Khushi’s unexplainable sixth sense when it comes to Arnav.

Arnav, deep in thoughts, finishes his food and takes his medicine. Then he gets up to leave for the office. He decides to stop at doctor’s office to understand why Khushi remembers his habits and medical condition but doesn’t remember their relationship.

After Arnav leaves, Anjali tells Nani that she had a doctor’s appointment today for her prenatal checkup.

Khushi asks excitedly: Can I come too, Di?

Anjali replies with a smile: Khushiji, I’d love for you to come with me. But you should take rest.

Khushi’s face falls. But she brightens up again: Okay Di. May be next time I can go with you.

Anjali smiles: Sure.

Anjali leaves with Mamiji.

As soon as they leave, Khushi runs to Nani and says: Naniji, we should arrange a baby shower for Di.

Nani smiles: That’s a very good idea bitiya. But who will do it?

Khushi chirps excitedly: Jiji and I will arrange everything. You don’t worry at all.

Naniji gets worried: But bitiya, what about your health?

Khushi assures her: I will be fine Naniji. Don’t worry. Besides, I won’t do any streanous work. We have Hari Prakashji for that. I will just give instructions to the workers, that’s all. I just need your permission.

Naniji still worried: But Chotey will get upset if you get sick again.

Khushi wrinkles her brow: He won’t. He won’t know until the day of the party and when he sees how happy Di is, he won’t be able to say anything. So shall we start planning? But it will be a surprise for Di. Okay?

Naniji looks at Payal.

Payal smiles: I’m in. But let me do the work and you just give your ideas okay?

Khushi does a military salute: Yes, ma’m.

Naniji gets excited too: It’s a very good idea. It will make Anjali bitiya very happy. (She lovingly caresses Khushi’s head) Bless you bitiya. You always spread happiness to others.

Khushi smiles back at Naniji.

The doctor’s office:

Arnav asks the doctor: Doctor, Khushi is starting to remember something, but it’s all about me. She remembers that I have diabetes; she remembers I take medicine etc. But she doesn’t remember that we are married and she is my wife.

The doctor replies: Mr. Raizada, our mind is divided into two parts - conscious mind and subconscious mind. Everything we know or remember stays in our subconscious mind and everything we need urgently stays in conscious mind.

For example, if you learned to play piano in childhood and haven’t touched it for years, you might have initial difficulties to remember the notes, scales etc. But as you start playing, your subconscious mind will send the data you had saved long back, back to conscious mind and then you can access it.

However, sometimes a certain trauma blocks our memory to surface from subconscious mind to conscious mind. Hence, we can’t remember things which should be familiar to us. It doesn’t mean that the memory is not there in subconscious mind, but it’s not easily accessible as it’s not surfacing in conscious mind. But when we get exposure to familiar things, people, surroundings; slowly our conscious mind starts to access relevant data from the subconscious mind.

Khushi loved you very much and thus everything about you was ingrained in her memory. She can’t remember her relationship with you, but she can access in her memory, the things that are relevant to you. Which is why, psychiatrists recommend to take amnesia patients to places or things or to people that are familiar to them because all it requires a trigger for memory to start to surface.

Arnav asks: So does it mean that Khushi will remember everything eventually?

The doctor replies: I can’t say that she will remember everything or most of the thing or even how long it will take to remember anything at all. It’s human brain, Mr. Raizada. It doesn’t follow a deadline. It will work at its own pace, at its own time. But I have seen miracle happening. So all we can do is pray at this point and hope for the best.

Arnav thanks the doctor and leaves. He walks through the hospital corridor and thinks: I wonder how long it will take Khushi to remember and once she does, will she able to forgive me?

He stops in front of the small temple in the hospital and looks at the Devi Maiyya idol: I don’t know if you are real. I don’t know if you are even listening to me. But Khushi believes in you. So just grant me one wish for her sake. Please kill me before she remembers everything and starts to hate me.  I can live with her indifference, but I can’t see hate in her eyes which always glowed with love for me.

The lamp in front of the idol flickers restlessly…